Transphobia is making me question everything

[Mason26]

21 minutes ago, RaineOnYourParade said:

"You suck, your work sucks, just everything all around sucks. Good day."

It's much funner that way, but unfortunately I still love HP too much.

[Avra]

1 minute ago, Mason26 said:

I can see how something like that would be frustrating, but as you pointed out, I don't think it's malicious. Sometimes it's better to save your energy for the really bad stuff.

That sounds awful if that's the reason she reacted that way, but you also never know what was going on. She could've been joking or watching a funny video before you came in, and she was still thinking about it. I've done that before. Regardless though, it must've hurt a lot.

She didn't really do anything. It just looked to me like the biggest smirk, you know, when you're trying not to laugh but you can hardly help yourself. But yeah, that's the most uncomfortable I've been in public.

[Mason26]

8 minutes ago, RaineOnYourParade said:

Hmmm, should I finish doing stuff or should I procrastinate and stalk this thread 🤔

 

The answer's obvious, I think. For the good of myself, the sanity of my teacher, my future...

 

...I'll continue watching this thread

This thread grew legs of its own, haha. I'm just doing my best to reply to as many people as possible before I'm too busy the next few days.

[Mason26]

9 minutes ago, Avra said:

Yeah logic dismantles pretty much everything I've heard instantly. Unfortunately, logic isn't something some people have in their arsenal. Also gets really murky when truth is mixed with blatant lies to make it easier to swallow, like taking a very bitter pill with honey or sugar. 😅

I'm doing my best not to do the opposite. Sometimes I'm worried I'm just as unreasonable. I'm bad with making snap judgements. And you're right, there's always some truth, but people aren't willing to compromise and find an option that everyone can benefit from. They just want things to stay the same.

[Mason26]

10 minutes ago, RaineOnYourParade said:

Ah yes, the ultimate surprise: I'm lazy as [squid]

Don't judge my beautiful censor

It's better than [censored], which I accidentally got multiple times on this website. Whoops. XD

[Mason26]

7 minutes ago, Avra said:

She didn't really do anything. It just looked to me like the biggest smirk, you know, when you're trying not to laugh but you can hardly help yourself. But yeah, that's the most uncomfortable I've been in public.

Ugh, that sucks. I really hope it wasn't for transphobic reasons, but I guess you never know. Whenever someone gives me a weird look, I'm not sure if it's because they can tell I'm trans, they're just an -censored-, or maybe they just have resting bitch face, haha.

[Ivy]

46 minutes ago, Mason26 said:

I was kind of homophobic and definitely transphobic when I was younger, too. I think being trans was a part of that.

Oh I understand completely.  I was so determined not to face my own truth… Not me… nope…    (Yeah, sure, you idiot)  No! not me… no way!  I couldn't possibly be one of those things…  nope… no way…

Pity it took so long innit?

[Tilly]

7 hours ago, RaineOnYourParade said:

Haha honestly sorta same-

 

Hate the artist not the art, unless the art sucks then you can hate both 😌

 

It's not just her trans views that stand out like a sore thumb imho. I still love the HP books and films but it's only 20 years later that you realise just how lacking in diversity they are. Not a single non-white major character. The only ethnically diverse person is stood up as a traitor. And, of course, not a single hint in the books of anyone other than straight.

 

By the way, I often think 'phobia' (as in transphobia) just doesn't cut the mustard. In ancient Greek phobia is the word for fear but, whilst that's for sure the root of their problems, it manifests as hatred and exclusion. Thoughts for snappy alternatives anyone?

[Vidanjali]

6 hours ago, Tilly said:

By the way, I often think 'phobia' (as in transphobia) just doesn't cut the mustard. In ancient Greek phobia is the word for fear but, whilst that's for sure the root of their problems, it manifests as hatred and exclusion. Thoughts for snappy alternatives anyone?

 

That thought has occurred to me too. I wondered whether there were words using the Greek root miso (like misanthrope or misogyny)& I recently learned the terms transmisia (hatred of trans folks e.g. Her vehement denial of transgender rights revealed her transmisia.) & transmisiac (one who experiences transmisia e.g. He is an utter transmisiac, spewing vitriol and lies.) & transmisic (having the quality of transmisia e.g. Their constant transmisic assertions are disturbing, to say the least.) There are probably alternative spellings and variations. I do contend that hatred is ultimately based in fear, but I also agree that there is potential effect in bringing attention to the hatred bc h8ers are usually blind to their underlying fear. 

[KathyLauren]

24 minutes ago, Vidanjali said:

I wondered whether there were words using the Greek root miso

 

I have heard the words homomisia and transmisia proposed elsewhere.  I think they work better than the -phobia words.  In the words of Morgan Freeman: "I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an -censored-."

[Tilly]

I like that: transmisia.

 

I may start using it. Thank you both xx

[Ivy]

58 minutes ago, Tilly said:

I like that: transmisia.

This is more accurate.  I like it too.  But I wonder would most people understand the difference?  Sounds like something in a car.

[gemmalouise]

How about "transist"?  As in "stop being transist"  I feel folk would intuitively know what that means without having to learn it first.

[Vidanjali]

1 hour ago, gemmalouise said:

How about "transist"?  As in "stop being transist"  I feel folk would intuitively know what that means without having to learn it first.

 

To my ear, "transist" sounds akin to a term like "feminist" or "optimist", etc. one who is in favor of or promotes the empowerment of the concept "ist" is modifying. Even true for "racist" - one who promotes special favor of certain race(s) (and therefore disenfranchisement of "others"). Although in the case of racism,  "xenomosia" (as opposed to xenophobia) is technically more literally accurate, but colloquially, "racism" is generally (I should hope) understood as an extremely ugly thing. 

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, gemmalouise said:

How about "transist"?

 

IDK, That sounds kinda pro-trans to me.  Maybe it's one of those across the pond things.

[Avra]

5 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

 

That thought has occurred to me too. I wondered whether there were words using the Greek root miso (like misanthrope or misogyny)& I recently learned the terms transmisia (hatred of trans folks e.g. Her vehement denial of transgender rights revealed her transmisia.) & transmisiac (one who experiences transmisia e.g. He is an utter transmisiac, spewing vitriol and lies.) & transmisic (having the quality of transmisia e.g. Their constant transmisic assertions are disturbing, to say the least.) There are probably alternative spellings and variations. I do contend that hatred is ultimately based in fear, but I also agree that there is potential effect in bringing attention to the hatred bc h8ers are usually blind to their underlying fear. 

I like that! Playing around with creating (or learning) new words is fun. I agree though that it's often based in some form of fear even if unbeknownst to the one holding it so ***phobia doesn't totally miss the mark.

[Avra]

2 hours ago, gemmalouise said:

How about "transist"?  As in "stop being transist"  I feel folk would intuitively know what that means without having to learn it first.

To be honest, I would initially think that's someone who supports trans people or maybe even just a trans person. The suffix means "one who does X" according to the dictionary. Of course being trans isn't something you do, so it would still sound a little off to me. 🤔

[Avra]

16 hours ago, Ivy said:

Oh I understand completely.  I was so determined not to face my own truth… Not me… nope…    (Yeah, sure, you idiot)  No! not me… no way!  I couldn't possibly be one of those things…  nope… no way…

Pity it took so long innit?

🙏

[Avra]

16 hours ago, Mason26 said:

Ugh, that sucks. I really hope it wasn't for transphobic reasons, but I guess you never know. Whenever someone gives me a weird look, I'm not sure if it's because they can tell I'm trans, they're just an -censored-, or maybe they just have resting bitch face, haha.

I usually don't let it get to me nowadays. I'm not too good to be looked at and if I can make someone smile (even at my own expense), that's all in a days work I suppose. But actually interacting with people, that's a higher difficulty mode ya know. For an introvert at least. 😅

[gemmalouise]

Good arguments against transist there, I'll take it back.

[Tilly]

Yes. I really like this forum. Inputs are so thoughtful and helpful.

 

I guess I'll use transphobia too but sometimes the all-English 'transhatred' and 'transhater' because in certain circumstances it just seems to fit the context better.

 

(Interesting though because everyone knows what racism means)

[Mason26]

On 8/30/2023 at 8:48 PM, Ivy said:

Oh I understand completely.  I was so determined not to face my own truth… Not me… nope…    (Yeah, sure, you idiot)  No! not me… no way!  I couldn't possibly be one of those things…  nope… no way…

Pity it took so long innit?

That was exactly me! I don't even know when exactly I figured it out, because I remember trying to block it out at first. I was so scared. But of course that didn't last too long and curiosity won out, haha. Now if only I could get over my fear of coming out to everyone else.

[Mason26]

On 8/31/2023 at 12:19 AM, Tilly said:

 

It's not just her trans views that stand out like a sore thumb imho. I still love the HP books and films but it's only 20 years later that you realise just how lacking in diversity they are. Not a single non-white major character. The only ethnically diverse person is stood up as a traitor. And, of course, not a single hint in the books of anyone other than straight.

 

By the way, I often think 'phobia' (as in transphobia) just doesn't cut the mustard. In ancient Greek phobia is the word for fear but, whilst that's for sure the root of their problems, it manifests as hatred and exclusion. Thoughts for snappy alternatives anyone?

You're right. Looking back on it, there's some weird stuff in those books. Like "Hermione doesn't like that Hogwarts is run by slaves and she wants to do something about it, she's crazy, right?" Also I had no idea about goblins being anti-semitic until fairly recently (uninformed much? haha), but holy crap. And let's not forget Dumbledore is gay, despite there being no hint whatsoever in the books (or even really the Fantastic Beasts movies. I haven't seen the most recent one, but I heard it didn't do much in that regard, either).

 

And I do agree with you. Especially because it can be used against us. I don't know how many times I've seen "I'm not transphobic, I'm not scared of trans people," from an obviously transphobic person. There was an alternative word I've seen suggested a few times, but I forgot what it was. It meant hatred instead of fear. In the meantime though, I guess "trans haters" is good enough and easy for everyone to understand, haha.

[Mason26]

On 8/31/2023 at 6:55 AM, Vidanjali said:

 

That thought has occurred to me too. I wondered whether there were words using the Greek root miso (like misanthrope or misogyny)& I recently learned the terms transmisia (hatred of trans folks e.g. Her vehement denial of transgender rights revealed her transmisia.) & transmisiac (one who experiences transmisia e.g. He is an utter transmisiac, spewing vitriol and lies.) & transmisic (having the quality of transmisia e.g. Their constant transmisic assertions are disturbing, to say the least.) There are probably alternative spellings and variations. I do contend that hatred is ultimately based in fear, but I also agree that there is potential effect in bringing attention to the hatred bc h8ers are usually blind to their underlying fear. 

@TillyThat's the word I was thinking of, transmisia! Thanks, Vidanjali. I do think this is a good choice. The only problem is I don't think most people would know what the word means at first glance. And as you said, hatred is ultimately rooted in fear for the most part. But I do think there are better words to describe what's going on, and transmisia is a good choice. I also wish GSRM would catch on instead of LGBT. If you don't know, it stands for gender, sexual, and romantic minorities, so it covers everything. And then we don't have to deal with people complaining about all the letters we're adding on, haha.

[Mason26]

On 8/31/2023 at 7:19 AM, KathyLauren said:

 

I have heard the words homomisia and transmisia proposed elsewhere.  I think they work better than the -phobia words.  In the words of Morgan Freeman: "I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an -censored-."

That's a great quote.