Coming Out
A place to discuss coming out to family, friends, and co-workers.
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By Sol · Posted
WOW HAS IT BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE UPDATED!!! Welp, I'm updating now, and it's been a lot of changes. 1. My mom is starting to come around a little (I think). She does refer to me more as her child now, and even offered to help me cut my hair so I think we're making a little progress. I'm still planning on going on T later and I'm gonna start saving up to buy trans tape (I can't wear binders because I have GERD), so hopefully the progress stays. My dad, sibling, friends, and my paternal grandparents have all been super supportive and I'm really lucky for that. My sibling also goes out of their way to introduce me as their brother and it makes me so happy :D 2. I've been socializing a lot more! Mostly on Discord, but I've made some new friends and I'm really happy about that! 3. I'm on birth control! I still need to go to the gyno but my GP got me on the depo shot and it's been working for me so far! My dysphoria has gone through a lot of ups and downs, especially around periods, but that source is pretty much gone now and I feel way better. I do have more dysphoria centered around my chest now but that's pretty easily fixed with baggy shirts most of the time. 4. I know 100% now that I'm hoping for a uterine ablation (cauterizing the uterine tissue so it doesn't grow) at some point in the future and it's likely something I'll have to save up for but from my research it's a lot less invasive and safer than a hysterectomy so I definitely recommend it if people are able to access it. I also know that after that, I want to save up for a reduction to combat the chest dysphoria, and I still like having it sometimes so I'll keep a bit of it (I'm shooting for an A cup, I'm a C cup currently). 5. I've been writing more and I've even got some ideas for art projects! I also got an Archive of Our Own account where I post my finished writing, and I'm starting a book project at my mom's urging (she said she wanted that as her Christmas present so I'm gonna try, might not get it done this year though). I haven't gotten to write much lately but I'm hoping to change that this month. And finally, 6. I'm gonna be a college junior and I have a career path to pursue! I'm gonna be an archivist, hopefully working for a museum (not too specific on where, I just like museums). So yeah, a lot of stuff has happened and it's been pretty good! -
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By Thea · Posted
Do we have any programmers in the house?! I'm a computer hobbyist. I mainly write code in C and javascript. -
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By KathyLauren · Posted
Around here, a culturally-appropriate gender-neutral form of address is either "dear" or "hun". It tends to be mostly women who use those, though I did have a man address me as "dear" in a store today. It could be startling for a come-ffrom-away to hear themselves being addressed that way, but, locally, it is considered a friendly, not particularly creepy, gender-neutral way to address someone. -
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By April Marie · Posted
Welcome, Amanda!! You'll find many of us here who found ourselves late in life - it was at 68 for me. Each of us is unique but we also have similarities and can help each other I understand the urge to move quickly, but remember that your wife also has to adjust as you transition. That doesn't mean you have to move slowly, just give both of you time to process the changes and the impacts. Many of us have also benefitted greatly from working with a gender therapist. For me, it was literally life-saving. Just a thought you might want to consider. Mine is done completely on-line. Again, welcome. Jump in where you feel comfortable. -
By MAN8791 · Posted
Change. I am so -censored- tired of change, and what I've just started in the last month with identifying and working through all of my . . . stuff . . . around gender dysphoria represents a level of change I dread and am terrified of. 2005 to 2019 feel like a pretty stable time period for me. Not a whole lot of change happened within me. I met someone, got married, had three kids with them. Struggled like hell with anxiety and depression but it was . . . ok. And then my spouse died (unexpectedly, brief bout with flu and then gone) and the five years since have been an unrelenting stream of change. I cannot think of a single way in which I, the person writing this from a library table in 2024, am in any way the same person who sat in an ICU room with my dying spouse 5 years ago. I move different, speak different, dress different, think different, have different goals, joys, and ambitions. And they are all **good.** but I am tired of the relentless pace of change and as much as I want and need to figure out my dysphoria and what will relieve the symptoms (am I "just" gender fluid, am I trans masc? no -censored- clue at the moment) I dread it at the same time. I just want to take a five year nap and be done with it. -
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By AmandaJoy · Posted
I'm Amanda, and after 57 years of pretending to be a male crossdresser, I've recently admitted to myself that I'm a woman. It's pretty wild. I don't think that I've ever had a thought that was as clearly true and right, as when I first allowed myself to wonder, "wait, am I actually trans?" The hilarious part is that I owe that insight to my urologist, and a minor problem with a pesky body part that genetic women don't come equipped with (no, not that one). I'll spare you the details, but the end result was him talking about a potential medication that has some side effects, notably a 1% chance of causing men to grow breasts. The first thought that bubbled up from the recesses of my mind was, "wow, that would be awesome!" <<blink>><<blink>> Sorry, what was that again? That led down a rabbit hole, and a long, honest conversation with myself, followed by a long, honest conversation with my wife. We both needed a couple of weeks, and a bit of crying and yelling, to settle in to this new reality. Her biggest issue? Several years ago, she asked me if I was trans, and I said, "no". That was a lie. And honestly, looking back over my life, a pretty stupid one. I'm really early in the transition process - I have my first consultation with my doctor next week - but I'm already out to friends and family. I'm struggling with the "do everything now, now now!" demon, because I know that this is not a thing that just happens. It will be happening from now on, and trying to rush won't accomplish anything useful. Still, the struggle is real . I'm being happy with minor victories - my Alexa devices now say, "Good morning, Amanda", and I smile each and every time. My family and friends are being very supportive, after the initial shock wore off. I'm going to need a lot of help though, which is another new thing for me. Being able to ask for help, that is. I'm looking forward to chatting with some of you who have been at this longer, and also those of you who are as new at this as I am. It's wild, and intoxicating, and terrifying... and I'm looking forward to every second of it. Amanda Joy
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